


It All Started with a Game of Truth or Dare

by AKindofMagic93



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, MWPP Era, Marauders, Mentions of homophobia, Romance, Slash, Swearing, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKindofMagic93/pseuds/AKindofMagic93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A simple game of Truth or Dare opens up a new door for Sirius, one which he's scared to venture through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It All Started with a Game of Truth or Dare

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Everything recognisable belongs to J. K. Rowling, I only own the OCs. Oh and 'Frankenstein' belongs to Mary Shelley and 'The Time Machine' belongs to H. G. Wells.
> 
> Originally posted on fanfiction.net.

"I dare you to snog Sirius for five minutes."

 

Remus wondered how he got himself into these awkward situations. Oh, wait, that’s right, his so-called best friends Colette Stevens and James Potter. Colette was the one who had forced him to play this ridiculous game when all he had wanted to do was sit in his favourite chair by the fire and finish reading  Frankenstein . But, she had told him that it was Friday night and he needed a bit of fun in his life and James had protested that he could finish his ‘stupid Muggle book anytime’. Though Remus knew that James didn’t really believe that; you see, what many people didn’t know was that James Potter was rather passionate about Muggle literature. Not as passionate as he was about Quidditch, but nevertheless he had a rather extensive collection back home that could rival the Hogwarts Library. Anyway, Remus, being the stubborn werewolf that he was, hadn’t given in easily, retorting that Truth or Dare wasn’t his idea of fun and that  Frankenstein wasn’t ‘stupid’, but an important contribution to the Gothic genre. Colette and James had both given him  that look, the one he knew meant ‘you’re just making excuses’, and he sighed before finally giving in. Sometimes, he wondered why he gave in to them. No, wait, it was because Colette had been his best friend since they were only a year old and James was not only another of his best friends, but also a fellow Marauder, and Marauders always stuck by each other, especially when stupid, immature, humiliating games were involved.

 

And now, because of them, he was stuck in this awkward position; either kiss his other best friend, who he had been secretly in love with for the past two years, or refuse to do it, forfeit a piece of his clothing and look like a coward in front of the whole Common Room, which, frankly, was just not on – after all, he wasn’t a Gryffindor for nothing. The way he saw it, this was all Colette’s and not James’ fault; he expected this sort of thing from James, he was entirely too Slytherin for his own good sometimes (not that he’d ever tell him that, he wasn’t an idiot), but he would never in a million years have expected this from Colette – sweet, kind, innocent Colette. But no, she had practically forced him to play this childish game and now she was daring him to do the one thing he both did and did not want to do. He’d bet his entire library of Muggle novels that she had planned this all along; after all, she was the only one who knew about his feelings for Sirius. As he weighed up his options, he quickly glanced round at the other members of the circle; the girls – Lily, Colette, Kelsey, Alice and Mary – were all giggling, James was trying his not-so-very-hardest to stifle a laugh, Peter looked as though he was just glad it wasn’t him, Frank was sending him a somewhat sympathetic expression (though Remus could see the amusement in his eyes) and Sirius’ expression was unreadable, his grey eyes darting everywhere, and refusing to meet Remus’ green gaze.

“Well, Remy, are you gonna do it? Or are you too chicken?” Colette goaded, knowing how much he hated that nickname.

That was the final straw for Remus, he would not be called a chicken in front of his friends. He stood determinedly and strode across the circle to Sirius, who looked up at him with slightly wide, surprised grey eyes. Remus yanked him up by the scruff of his white school shirt and planted his lips firmly on his. Remus had never before experienced anything as wonderful as this; this was the one thing he had been wanting to do ever since he realised he loved his best friend. Well, one of them. There were a lot of other things he'd like to do to Sirius, none of which involved being watched by their friends. As he granted Sirius’ tongue entrance to his mouth, he could vaguely hear the girls sighing in the background, but a moan (he wasn’t sure if it came from him or Sirius) drowned them out. He didn’t care about anyone else, or anything else, all that mattered was that he had finally got what he wanted. Somewhere in the distance he thought he heard a voice telling them that their five minutes were up, but he didn’t pay any attention to it. But then he heard a loud “Oi!” and suddenly they were both drenched with freezing cold water. Remus and Sirius jumped apart and Remus’ already flushed face flushed further with embarrassment. He was even more embarrassed to find that he was aroused, and was thankful that he was still wearing his school robes so that the others would not notice his predicament. He glanced over at Sirius who gave him a small smile, but Remus could tell it was somewhat forced. Remus returned to his seat in the circle and cleared his throat, continuing with the ridiculous game that had started all this. He glanced quickly around the circle and finally his gaze landed on the quirky brunette that was Kelsey. “Er… Kelsey, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Kelsey replied, knowing that picking dare when there were Marauders playing would surely spell trouble. 

“Hmm…” Remus thought for a moment, before coming up with a suitable truth, “Who’s the mysterious person that you’re supposedly dating?”

Kelsey’s cheeks flushed bright pink; she was beginning to think that it was a bad idea to play Truth or Dare with the Marauders altogether. She mumbled something under her breath. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” James teased, a wide grin on his face.

Remus didn’t really care who Kelsey was dating, though, and it seemed Sirius didn’t either, for they were staring at each other, too lost in their thoughts to notice what was going on around them. 

* * *

James was annoyed. It had been a week since Sirius and Remus had kissed and since then they had been avoiding each other like Dragon Pox. This, of course, meant that James was stuck in the middle with Peter. Not that he disliked Peter’s company, but sometimes the conversation was a bit lacking. To say that he was one of his best friends, they didn’t have all that much in common. For example, Peter wasn’t particularly interested in Quidditch, and since Sirius was off avoiding Remus and asserting his heterosexuality by sleeping his way through the sixth and seventh year female population of Hogwarts, James didn’t have anyone to talk to about the latest match between the Chudley Cannons and the Appleby Arrows. Furthermore, Peter wasn’t interested in literature like he was, let alone Muggle literature, and this was something which he and Remus could talk about for hours on end. But, Remus was off avoiding Sirius and spending all his time in the Library pouring over ancient books and dusty tomes about Merlin knew what. Yes, it was safe to say that his and Peter’s conversation was rather limited to schoolwork, the weather and pranks that they could humiliate dear old Snivellus with. They’d tried to pass the time by playing Wizard’s Chess, but after losing ten games in a row James had given up, marvelling at how good Peter was at the game. It wasn't like he could spend all his time with Lily either; they may be dating now, but Lily had her own friends and she was just as serious about studying as Remus was, and she often complained that James distracted her. Yes, it was very safe to say that James was well and truly, thoroughly annoyed.

But James was also worried. About several things. Firstly, there was the Marauder’s friendship; with Sirius and Remus both acting like the other didn’t exist then there was no one around to pull pranks with (it just wasn’t the same when it was only him and Peter, and Peter often didn’t have the confidence to pull off any pranks by himself anyway). Not that this was James’ top priority at the moment. No, he was more concerned about what would happen to Sirius and Remus’ friendship; they refused to talk to each other, they refused to meet each other’s gaze, Merlin, they even refused to be in the same room as each other unless it was absolutely necessary. James had tried to spend equal amounts of time with each of them, but they had started to avoid him too since he kept suggesting that they talk to each other. It also hadn’t escaped James’ notice that to begin with, Remus was more willing to sort things out than Sirius was; on more than one occasion James had noticed Remus trying to talk to Sirius, but Sirius just brushed him off. He also noticed how much it broke Remus’ heart every time Sirius did this – contrary to popular belief, James wasn’t as oblivious as people often thought him to be – he saw how in love with Sirius Remus was. Eventually, Remus had given up trying to talk to Sirius, and that broke James’ heart a little, because Remus never gave up, if there was one thing that James was certain of about his friend, it was that he was a fighter. 

The second thing James was worried about was Sirius’ behaviour; it had become rather erratic of late and James was seriously starting to worry for his best friend’s mental health. One minute he was perfectly happy to sit talking to James and the next he was snapping at him for the littlest thing that wasn’t even his fault. Sirius could also be seen with a different girl each night and James saw how much it hurt Remus. James knew that Sirius was doing this because he was having a sexuality crisis; Sirius had probably always thought he was straight up until his and Remus’ kiss, and James knew that Sirius must have enjoyed it, otherwise he would have pushed Remus away the moment their five minutes were up and laughed the whole thing off. And now, Sirius was sleeping around with every willing girl as if to assert the fact that he was completely and utterly straight. 

The third, and final, thing that James was worried about was the fact that the full moon was coming up in a few days. He would, of course, along with Peter, join Remus for his monthly transformation, but he had a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that Sirius wouldn’t be joining them. This transformation would be hard enough on Remus as it was, what with all the emotional turmoil he was going through right now, and he didn’t need Sirius making it any more difficult for him. 

James sighed, he needed to do something about Sirius and Remus, and he needed to do it soon, he wasn’t sure how many more times he could stand being beaten by Peter at Wizard’s Chess. He hated losing. 

* * *

It wasn’t until the day of the full moon that James decided he really needed to do something about the Sirius-Remus situation. For the past week or so he had been annoyed, but it was what he saw in the boy’s toilets that day that made him absolutely livid.

He had intended to just nip to the loo before his next lesson started but what he saw made him stop in his tracks. Remus was stood over one of the sinks, his knuckles white from clenching the sides of the sink in what appeared to be anger, and silent tears running down his cheeks. 

James closed and locked the door behind him, not wanting anyone to interrupt the conversation that had been a long time coming. “Remus? You okay?” James asked hesitantly, moving so he was stood only a few feet away from his friend. 

“Do I bloody look alright?” Remus snapped, and James unconsciously recoiled slightly at his harsh tone. Remus hardly ever got angry, but when he did you didn’t want to be in the firing line. Remus sighed, “Sorry, I’m just a little temperamental at the moment. Full moon and all.” Remus tried to subtly wipe his eyes, before turning round to face James, casually leaning against the sink as if nothing was wrong. 

Remus’ nonchalant attitude didn’t fool James though, “Come on, Moony, what’s wrong?”

Remus crossed his arms defensively before replying, “What do you think?”

James sighed this time, “What’s he done now?” There was no doubt in either of their minds as to who they were talking about and James had the overwhelming urge to punch Sirius for what he was doing to Remus. Maybe it would knock some sense into him. 

“He’s dating Marlene McKinnon,” Remus said, trying to act as though he wasn’t bothered by this, but James knew better.

“You mean the Hufflepuff who’s…”

“…Had an overwhelming and obsessive crush on him since first year?” Remus finished. “Yeah, that’s her.” Remus noticed the almost murderous look on his friend’s face and said, “Don’t, James, it’s not worth it.”

“Yes, it is,” James argued, “anyone with eyes can see you’re hurting, well anyone that isn’t called Sirius Black that is. Look, Moony, I know he’s not meaning to hurt you, he’s confused. Up until the two of you kissed he thought he was straight, but it’s opened up a whole new door for him, and he’s scared and confused and he thinks the only way to handle it all is by bedding any girl who’ll have him.”

“And he’s told you this?” Remus asked, one eyebrow raised in scepticism.

“No, but it’s obvious.”

“How so?” Remus still wasn’t convinced.

“Because if he really was straight then he wouldn’t be avoiding you like you had a serious case of Dragon Pox, he wouldn’t be sleeping around, and he certainly wouldn’t be dating Marlene McKinnon of all people.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Remus smirked slightly as he added, “For once,” trying to lighten the atmosphere a little. He just wanted things to go back to normal. 

“Hey!” James protested, mock offended. “I’ll have you know I’m always right!”

“If you say so, Prongs,” Remus smiled. And with that one smile, James knew that everything would turn out alright. Eventually.

* * *

James was annoyed again. Or rather, this time, Prongs was annoyed. Sirius hadn’t turned up for Remus’ monthly transformation. James knew it was quite likely that this would happen, but he hadn’t really thought that Sirius would abandon Remus like this, despite whatever inner turmoil he was currently going through. Prongs could tell that Moony was disappointed in their friend as well, as he was more subdued than usual and James resolved to give Sirius a piece of his mind the next day. He knew it wouldn’t be easy; Sirius was stubborn, sometimes excessively so and if Sirius did not want to talk to Remus, then nothing James said or did would be able to change that.

Glancing over at Moony, Prongs noted with a slight fondness that he was fast asleep, Wormtail curled up next him, trying to offer some comfort for the dark moment that Remus was currently going through. Initially, Peter may not have been entirely comfortable with the idea of Remus liking guys, but first and foremost he was a Marauder and Marauders always stuck by each other, no matter their sexual preferences. Something which Sirius seemed to have forgotten. 

Settling down on Remus’ other side, James soon fell fast asleep too.

* * *

Sirius was confused. He didn’t know what had possessed him to say yes to a date with Marlene, but now he found himself stuck on the Astronomy Tower with her trying to shove her tongue down his throat every few minutes. Normally he wouldn’t have minded, as Marlene wasn’t exactly ugly – though her obsessive crush on him was a little disturbing at times – but he had a funny feeling that he had forgotten something. Something important.

It was only when Marlene spoke that Sirius realised what that something was. “The full moon is beautiful don’t you think?” She said.

Sirius suddenly sat up straighter, hoping he had misheard her. “What did you just say?”

Marlene gave him a funny look, “I said that the full moon is beautiful.”

Sirius’ gaze snapped up to the star filled night sky, as if only just realising that it was no longer day time, and his grey eyes landed on the bright, round orb that was the full moon. “Shit.” He abruptly stood up, startling Marlene slightly and effectively dislodging her from where she had been practically sitting on his lap.

“What are you doing?” She asked, as if standing up was a totally out of the ordinary thing to do. 

“Sorry, I gotta go,” Sirius said, before leaving without any further explanation and leaving Marlene affronted at the fact that he hadn’t even kissed her goodbye. 

Sirius all but ran down the many flights of stairs that led to the Entrance Hall, thankfully not meeting any teachers or prefects on the way. Once in the Entrance Hall, he raced across it and into the cool night air, pausing for a moment to catch his breath. He checked to make sure that there was no one else on the Grounds before making his way over to the Whomping Willow. He cast a quick ‘ Immobulus ’ on the tree and descended into the dark, narrow passageway that led to the Shrieking Shack. He transformed into Padfoot and carefully made his way to where the others would be. 

When he got there, though, he was surprised to find them all fast asleep; he felt a pang of sadness, he'd thought they'd all still be up and waiting for him to arrive. He debated whether he should stay or not; on the one hand, he should stay, because they were his friends and he really hated not talking to Remus. He missed him. But, on the other hand, they looked perfectly fine without him and Sirius had a gut feeling that they didn’t miss him nearly as much as he missed them. Maybe it was just all his old insecurities coming back to haunt him; he had never felt particularly wanted with his family, except with Regulus, but he had always been the one that their parents were proud of, the perfect son, while Sirius was always the failure who could do nothing right. Now he felt like his friends didn’t want him either. 

Dejectedly, he trudged out of the room and back up to the school where he settled into his bed and fell into a sleep plagued by bad dreams of his childhood and his parents. 

* * *

The next day, James was on the warpath. After escorting Remus up to the Hospital Wing he went to the Great Hall, searching for his best friend and intending to give him a good talking to.

When he got there, though, he was amused to find that Marlene had gotten to him first. “You’re an utter bastard, you know that, Black?” Sirius didn’t reply, which was a bad move as this only seemed to aggravate her. “We’re through!” She screeched, before slapping him hard across the face and flouncing off in a huff to the Hufflepuff table. 

James took this as his cue and marched right up to Sirius. James could tell that Sirius knew he was there but was deliberately trying to ignore him. “Oi, I have a bone to pick with you.” In any other situation, Sirius would have been amused by James’ play on words, but as it was, he was tired and they had already attracted a rather large audience no thanks to Marlene’s screeching. 

“Don’t start, James,” Sirius muttered, not meeting James’ hazel gaze.

“No, I bloody well will start,” James said, hoisting Sirius off his seat so that they were face to face, “where the bloody hell were you last night?”

Sirius glanced nervously round at all the eyes that were on them before gesturing for James to follow him. They ended up in an unused classroom on the first floor, which Sirius nevertheless locked the door of anyway. 

“Well?" James crossed his arms over his chest as he stood, waiting impatiently for Sirius’ explanation.

Sirius once again refused to meet James’ gaze as he answered, “I forgot.” His voice was barely above a whisper, but James heard well enough.

“You forgot,” James repeated, “you forgot!” His voice was getting louder this time. “How in the name of Merlin could you forget? He’s your best friend for fuck’s sake and you abandoned him when he needed you the most!”

“I remembered,” Sirius said in a small voice, shame written all over his face.

“You remembered?” James said, disbelieving, “Then why the hell weren’t you there this morning?”

“I left,” Sirius continued with his two word answers.

“Why?” James asked, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Because I thought you wouldn’t want me there.”

“Why would you think that?” James’ voice softened slightly.

Sirius shrugged slightly, a move which would have been missed had James not been paying attention. “Because I’ve been avoiding all of you and I know Remus probably hates me right now. I never meant to hurt him, James.” Sirius’ voice was now almost barely audible. “And in the end no one ever wants me.”

James’ heart broke a little at the utter vulnerability in Sirius’ voice and the completely dejected look on his face. He closed the distance between them and wrapped his best friend in a tight comforting hug. Sirius seemed shocked by his friend’s actions, but he quickly relaxed and returned the embrace. After a few minutes, James let Sirius go, but his hands stayed on Sirius’ shoulders. Sirius avoided James’ gaze. “Look at me,” and Sirius did so, his grey gaze meeting James’ hazel one. “Sirius Orion Black, do not ever think that you are not wanted. I know that you’re parents couldn’t give a toss about what happens to you, but that doesn’t matter. You’ve got me, and Remus, and Peter and Regulus, and you know my parents love you like you were their own son.”

Sirius shrugged again, not entirely believing James’ words.

James was getting impatient now; he was the only one who had ever really seen this vulnerable side to Sirius and he hated Orion and Walburga Black for making him like this. “Dammit, Padfoot, you know you’re like a brother to me, and you know Peter idolises you, and Remus, he loves you, Sirius, and he’d do anything for you.”

Sirius snorted, “He doesn’t love me. He should hate me, after everything I’ve done to him…” Sirius trailed off, a look of pure helplessness on his face, and James knew that Sirius wasn’t just talking about all that had happened following the game of Truth or Dare. He was talking about the incident where Snape had seen Remus in his werewolf form.

“You know he forgave you for that.”

Sirius just shook his head, “No, what I did was unforgivable. I betrayed him in the worst way and I almost got someone killed. I deserve to go to Azkaban.”

“You made a mistake. You were angry and you made a mistake.”

“That’s no excuse. He shouldn’t have forgiven me.”

“You and I both know that Remus is the most forgiving person in this school, he couldn’t have hated you even if he wanted to.”

“S’pose,” Sirius conceded.

“You need to talk to Remus,” James said, bringing them back to their current problem.

“I know,” Sirius crossed his arms again and leant against one of the desks, his gaze returning to the floor.

“Then why don’t you?” Sirius didn’t reply. “Look, Remus loves you and he’s hurt. I know you’re confused but that’s no reason to ignore him. You need to explain to him, reassure him that you still want to be friends. I know you’re probably going through emotional hell at the moment but you can’t bottle it all up. If you don’t talk about your feelings then they’ll just eat away at you until you snap. It’s fine if you don’t want to be any more than friends with him, but you need to tell him that, otherwise he won’t be able to move on.”

“I do,” was all Sirius said, thoroughly confusing James not for the first time.

“You what?”

Sirius sighed. “I do want to be more than friends with him.”

“Then why don’t you tell him that?”

“Because it’s not that simple.”

“Yes it is.” But then a realisation came across James. “Do this have something to do with your parents?”

“Of course it does.”

“You shouldn’t worry about what they’ll think, you and I both know that you couldn’t give a toss if they disowned you.”

“I’m not worried about how they’ll react.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Sirius got up from his place against the battered desk and started pacing, one hand nervously running through his black hair. “Remus isn’t the first bloke I’ve kissed.”

“What?” James said, utterly surprised at his friend’s admission, he thought he knew everything about his best friend, but clearly he was wrong.

“It was about two years ago,” Sirius started, “my parents had invited over some old friends of theirs and they brought their son with them. He was about three years older than me I think. Anyway, my parents told me and Regulus to take him on a tour of the house while they talked business with his parents. We were in the Library when it happened. Regulus had just left to go to the bathroom. Before I knew what was happening, he’d pushed me against the wall and started kissing me. The next thing I knew we were being yanked apart and my father was demanding to know what was going on. He… he told them that I forced myself on him, but no matter what I said my parents believed him over me. Regulus was the only one who believed me. I dread to think what would have happened had we not been found. Anyway, later that night, after they’d gone, my father confronted me. He hit me a fair few times, said he was going to ‘beat the gay out of me’. I told him I wasn’t and he said, “Good, because if you were you’d be out of this house with nothing but the clothes on your back, and that’s if you’re lucky.” He then started spewing all this homophobic nonsense at me, saying how wrong it was. I’ve always known that my father was wrong, but what he said has stuck with me ever since, and it never really became an issue until now anyway. After me and Remus kissed, I could just hear his voice in my head. I know I shouldn’t care about what others would think, but I do, and I’m scared of what would happen if people found out and I especially wouldn’t want Remus to get hurt. Although, I’ve already sort of failed at that, haven’t I?”

James didn’t answer, just taking a few moments to process all this in his brain. “Sirius, you shouldn’t let people’s opinion of homosexuality get in the way of your happiness.”

“I know,” Sirius said quietly, he had stopped pacing now.

“Look, do you want to be with Remus, yes or no?”

“Yes,” Sirius replied.

“Then who cares what the rest of the world thinks. Just go for it. And I’m not saying there won’t be people opposed to it, but whatever they say or do I know the both of you will be able to get through it.”

Sirius just nodded, knowing that James was right. There was silence for a few moments before Sirius broke out into a grin, “Hey, since when were you the voice of reason? I always thought that was Remus.”

James shrugged, also smiling, “Well, someone had to sort this mess out, didn’t they?” Then James turned serious again, “You will talk to Remus though, won’t you?”

Sirius sighed, getting annoyed at his friend’s pestering, honestly, James was like a dog with a bone sometimes.

“Just promise me.”

“Fine. I promise I’ll sort things out with Remus.”

“And Sirius?”

“Yes, James?”

“I know you’re confused, but don’t feel like you have to put a label on yourself. You can’t help who you fall in love with, and it doesn’t matter whether they’re male or female.”

Sirius just smiled. 

* * *

Two weeks later and Sirius had still not spoken to Remus. For the past two weeks he had been trying to figure out what to say and trying to find the courage to actually talk to him. Things had almost returned to normal between Sirius and James; Sirius had stopped sleeping around and he’d stopped spending all his time alone, but whenever Sirius was with James the air between them was somewhat tense – James was getting rather impatient with Sirius as he had yet to talk to Remus.

Remus, on the other hand, was avoiding James more than ever as seeing James also meant seeing Sirius. Whenever Sirius tried to catch Remus’ eye, Remus just looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. 

There had been a few times over the past two weeks where Sirius had managed to find the courage to talk to Remus, only to be frustrated at being unable to find him. It never occurred to him to use the Marauder’s Map.

It was on a rather chilly day at the end of the second week when Sirius decided that he was once again going to find Remus and talk to him, even if it took him all day to do so.

Sirius was sat in the dormitory pondering where to look first when James strolled in, his bag in one hand and the Marauder’s Map in the other. It was like a light bulb had suddenly gone off in Sirius’ head. “The Map!” He exclaimed, startling James slightly, “I’m such an idiot.” Before James could say or do anything, Sirius had snatched the Map out of James’ hand, muttered “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” and dashed out of the dormitory, but not before saying a rather excited “Wish me luck” as he passed James. 

James, utterly confused by his friend’s excitement, just replied “Good luck” before dumping his bag on his bed and starting his Transfiguration homework.

Once Sirius had dashed hurriedly out of the Gryffindor Common Room, ignoring people’s stares at his rush, he paused in the corridor to study the Map. His eyes darted to the first place he thought Remus would be – the Library. And, lucky for him, that was exactly where he was. Sirius was both excited and nervous – so much so that he didn’t even notice that there was another dot rather close to Remus’, a dot labelled Regulus Black. 

It didn’t take long for Sirius to get to the Library, in fact Sirius thought he must’ve set a world record or something. He skidded to a halt in front of the Library doors and took a few moments to compose himself. Then, very calmly and nonchalantly, he strolled into the Library. He may have looked calm on the outside, but inside he was a nervous wreck. He made his way through all the tables, looking down each aisle until he found Remus.

He finally found him in the ‘Goblin Rebellion’ section, but he was totally unprepared for what he saw, and what he saw shocked him to speechlessness.

Remus was kissing someone. And not just anyone. There, trapped between Remus and a bookcase, was Sirius’ younger brother Regulus. Sirius noted that Remus’ shirt was undone and Regulus’ trousers were unbuttoned. A wave of fury washed over Sirius and he marched over to the two of them and yanked Remus off his brother. “What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?” Sirius’ voice, which he had finally found, was dangerously calm, but Remus could detect the anger under Sirius’ calm façade. 

Remus, shocked, fumbled for words to try and explain what was going on, “Sirius…” he started, but soon trailed off, not knowing what to say.

Regulus, however, had no such problem, “Looks like you’re too late, brother,” he taunted Sirius.

Sirius span round, this time his fury clearly etched upon his face, although this did not deter Regulus, “You missed your chance, it seems even dear Remus here would much rather have me than you.”

A hurt look flashed across Sirius’ face at his brother’s words, and regret briefly filled Regulus’ gaze before it faded into its’ usual hard Slytherin expression.

Sirius turned back to Remus, knowing that if he looked at Regulus any longer he would surely do something that he would later regret, “Tell me this isn’t true,” his voice was quiet, not wanting to believe what his little brother was telling him. There’s no way Remus would pick his brother over him… right? 

“I’m sorry, Sirius,” was all Remus said, and that was all the answer that Sirius needed. Without saying another word, or waiting for Remus to explain further, he fled the Library, not looking back and not stopping until he reached the safety of his bed. 

* * *

James had been in the Common Room with Lily and Peter when a Sirius shaped blur ran straight past them and up to the dormitory. Something was wrong. James knew it. Lily and Peter had been so engrossed in a debate about Transfiguration (the one subject that Peter excelled at) that they hadn’t noticed Sirius dash past.

James quickly got up and ascended the stairs that led to their dormitory. He tried opening the door, but it was locked, so he knocked instead, "Sirius, are you alright?" All he got in reply was a muffled "Go away". Getting out his wand, James unlocked the door and warned Sirius "I'm coming in." After waiting a few moments to see if Sirius would protest, James entered the dormitory, locking the door behind him. What he saw made his heart break again and he suddenly felt a surge of anger towards Remus; Sirius was lying on his bed, looking completely rejected. He went over and sat next to Sirius, Sirius unconsciously moving slightly to make room for him.

 

"What happened?" James asked gently.

 

"You were wrong, Remus doesn't love me."

 

"Did he tell you that?"

 

"He had his tongue shoved down my little brother's throat, James, he didn't have to."

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Dammit, James, this is all your fault!"

 

James was shocked, but he remained calm, "Yeah? And how'd you figure that?"

 

"You're the one that suggested we play that stupid game in the first place! And you're the one who told me that Remus loves me!"

 

"I thought he did." James said quietly.

 

"Well you thought wrong," there was genuine hurt in Sirius' voice now, something which James rarely ever heard, and which now made him feel incredibly guilty, "tell me, did Remus ever actually say the words 'I love Sirius'?"

 

James thought back for a moment, and then shook his head sadly.

 

"I thought so." Sirius said bitterly. "In the future, James, just stay out of my love life."

 

James was the hurt and angry one now, "Hey, don't take your anger out on me. I've done nothing wrong. You're being irrational."

 

Sirius sat up straight, his eyes flashing briefly with anger, "I think I have every right to be irrational."

 

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, you think you're the only one who's ever been rejected?"

 

"Don't you dare compare this to you and Lily," Sirius said, his voice dangerous.

 

James was standing up now, "Merlin, I knew you were oblivious, Padfoot, but I never thought you were this blind." James said quietly, running a hand through his already messy hair. There was no longer anger in James' voice, just hurt, something which had Sirius even more confused than he already was.

 

"What are you talking about?"

 

"Nothing. Just forget it." But James refused to meet Sirius' eyes, which told Sirius that it wasn't nothing at all.

 

"We don't keep secrets from each other, Prongs. Tell me."

 

"I can't. You've got enough on your mind already without adding me to your list of problems. Besides, I love Lily as well." The last part was more for his own benefit than Sirius', although Sirius heard him anyway.

 

"As well?" James just looked at Sirius and nodded and it suddenly all clicked into place in Sirius' head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"Because you were so obviously straight, well at least until this whole fiasco started. But by that time I had gotten together with Lily." Sirius was speechless. "Don't get me wrong, I love Lily and I know I'll spend the rest of my life with her, but I will always love you too."

 

Sirius swallowed nervously. "This… I… I gotta go… I can't deal with this right now." And for the second time that day, he fled, leaving James stood there, a saddened look on his face.

 

* * *

Anger. Hurt. Confusion. Betrayal. These were just some of the emotions that Sirius was currently feeling. Anger at James for keeping secrets from him, and for causing this whole problem in the first place (he still blamed him for everything that had happened). Anger at Remus for leading him on and defiling his brother. Anger at Regulus for corrupting Remus (because surely he had instigated it). Hurt because Remus had so openly rejected him, and in the worst way possible. Confusion at James' revelation - that had shocked him more than anything, James wasn't wrong when he said he was oblivious. Betrayal at Remus for choosing his brother over him – what did Regulus have that he didn't? Although he already knew the answer to that – in their parents' eyes Sirius could do no right, and Regulus could do no wrong, Sirius was the failure that would never make anything of his life, and Regulus would be successful at anything he wanted to do. And betrayal at Regulus because despite everything, Sirius loved his little brother, and would never purposefully hurt him and he'd always thought that Regulus felt the same. But clearly he was wrong.

 

Sirius had fled to the Astronomy Tower and had been sat there for the past two hours, trying to make sense of it all. He had missed dinner, but he didn't care, he wasn't hungry and he couldn't face Remus or James yet either.

 

He was sat there for another hour before he heard footsteps – he wasn't in the least bit surprised, he had expected one of them to come and find him sooner or later. It wasn't Remus or James though, and Sirius was surprised to find that the person who sat next to him was none other than Regulus. "What do you want?" Sirius snapped, his tone not welcoming at all.

 

"I'm sorry." Regulus said.

 

"For what?" Sirius asked, although he had a fair idea of the answer.

 

"What you saw in the Library. It was just a heat of the moment kind of thing, nothing else. Remus would never choose me over you, and I wouldn't want him to."

 

"Then why did you say it? That hurt more than anything else, Reg, you more than anyone should understand that." The tone of Sirius' voice had changed from unwelcoming to hurt, not for the first time that night.

 

"I know, and I'm sorry, Sirius, but I'm a Slytherin and I have to watch my back all the time. Anyone could have overheard us. All the Slytherins think I hate you, and I have to keep it that way."

 

"Do you hate me?"

 

"Don't be stupid, of course I don't, despite our parents telling me that I should. I love you."

 

"Well, that's the second declaration of love I've gotten today." Sirius said, lightening the atmosphere a little.

 

"Ew, you know I don't mean it that way. And let me guess, Potter?"

 

"Great. I must be the only one who didn't know."

 

Regulus shrugged, before changing the subject. "I always felt guilty, you know, when our parents blamed you for stuff I'd done. I always tried to tell them, and I even tried to take the blame for stuff you'd done, but they wouldn't listen."

 

"Don't worry about it. And thanks for sticking up for me. I love you too." Regulus smiled.

 

There were a few minutes of silence where the two of them just watched the gradually darkening sky in a comfortable silence, before Sirius broke it, "So who do you like then, if not Remus?" He asked curiously, and a slight teasing note in his voice.

 

"Severus," was the simple reply.

 

"Snivellus? Really?"

 

"Don't call him that," Regulus scowled.

 

"Sorry. Habit." Although he wasn't really sorry, it was no secret that Sirius and Severus despised each other, even more than James and Severus did, and Regulus knew it was too much to ask for them to get along. "I guess I can sorta see where you're coming from…" Sirius conceded, trying to support Regulus, even if he didn't like his choice of partner.

 

"Really?" Regulus said, not believing him one bit.

 

"Yeah, I mean he's got the whole tall, dark and broody thing going for him…" Sirius conceded.

 

Regulus just looked amused, "You know the phrase is 'tall, dark and handsome', right?"

 

"Yes, but I'd rather throw myself off here than refer to Snape as handsome." Sirius may have sounded serious, but Regulus knew by the grin on his face that he was only joking. "Look, Reg, I may not like him, but if he's who you want, then I'm not going to argue with that. You can't help who you fall in love with, I think the Marauders are proof of that. Anyway, I'll try and be nicer to him."

 

"Thanks, bro, you have no idea how much that means to me." Regulus then turned serious again. "Look, Sirius, I really am sorry for earlier. I want to fix this. So, here," Regulus shoved a small potion bottle into Sirius' hand.

 

"What's this?" Sirius asked, looking at the clear liquid within.

 

"Veritaserum. It'll help to get things out in the open and clear the air between you, Remus and Potter."

 

"Where did you get this?"

 

"I made it. Told Slughorn I wanted to practice."

 

"And he just let you?"

 

Regulus nodded, a wide grin on his face, "Ah, the privileges of being in the Slug Club."

 

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Thanks, though, really."

 

"Don't mention it. I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

 

Sirius nodded, before hugging his brother briefly and muttering one last thanks before heading back to Gryffindor Tower slightly happier than he was when he had left.

 

* * *

It was safe to say that the air between James and Remus was rife with tension. Neither of them really knew the cause of it, although they both knew it had something to do with Sirius. So, it was safe to say that when Sirius barged into the dormitory with a wide grin on his face and a potion bottle in his hand, both James and Remus were confused. This confusion turned into slight fear when Sirius locked the door behind him.

 

"What are you doing?" James was the first to speak.

 

"Fellow Marauders, I believe I'm right in saying that we haven't exactly been honest with each other, yes?" James and Remus merely nodded slightly. "Well, now's the time to get everything out in the open." He held up the potion bottle for them to see.

 

"What's that?" James asked.

 

"It's Veritaserum." Remus replied.

 

"Exactly right, my dear Moony, we all take some of this and then we can get everything out in the open. No more secrets and lies. What do you say?"

 

"Sure," James answered, although a little nervously.

 

Remus shrugged, putting down his book (he had finished  Frankenstein and was now reading  The Time Machine ), "Yeah, okay."

 

Sirius pulled the cork out of the bottle and swallowed a generous amount before passing it to James who did the same before handing the rest to Remus. Once Remus had drunk the rest of the Veritaserum, Sirius clapped his hands together, looking far too excited for someone who was about to have their deepest, darkest secrets revealed. "Right, who wants to start?"

 

"I'll start," Remus piped up, "Sirius, did you like our kiss?"

 

"Yes," was Sirius' quick reply, "best kiss I've ever had." Both Sirius and Remus blushed a little at his reply, something which highly amused James.

 

"Then why did you ignore me? Why did you sleep with half the female population of Hogwarts and why in the name of Merlin did you date Marlene McKinnon?" Remus said, his voice rising slightly towards the end of his question.

 

"I was confused, up until we kissed I'd never really thought about you other than as a friend and it scared me. I'd always thought I was straight. I guess that's why I started to sleep around. I wanted to prove to myself that I was straight. As for Marlene, I don't really know what I was thinking there, but we weren't dating. I only agreed to one date with her."

 

Remus just nodded, accepting his explanation. "And what about now?"

 

Sirius shook his head, "James made me realise that I don't need to put a label on myself. I have feelings for you, Moony, and I do want to be with you." Sirius smiled slightly, something which Remus returned.

 

"Why didn't you come to the Shack on the last full moon?" Was Remus' next question.

 

"To begin with I'd forgotten, but when I remembered I did go to the Shack, only to find you all asleep. I was going to stay, but then I figured none of you would want me there."

 

"Why would you think that?"

 

"You know what my parents are like, Moony." Remus just nodded, understanding, he knew exactly what Orion and Walburga Black were like and how they made their son feel. "Did you really forgive me? For what I did to Snape, I mean?" Sirius asked.

 

"Of course I did. No matter how hard I tried, I could never stay mad at you for long. You made a stupid mistake and I forgave you a long time ago."

 

"Do you love me?" Sirius whispered, almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

"Yes." Remus replied, a reassuring smile on his face. Sirius smiled back, wanting more than anything to kiss him, but James was in the room and they all still had things to discuss.

 

"Sirius, I think you should tell Remus what you told me." James said, speaking for the first time in a while.

 

Sirius glanced at James before turning his attention back to Remus. "Yeah, okay." Sirius paused for a moment to take a deep breath, before proceeding to tell Remus what had happened at his parent's house two years ago.

 

Remus, of course, was understanding and told Sirius that everything would turn out okay and that they could even keep it secret if he wanted too. Sirius was grateful.

 

"When you saw me and Regulus in the Library, why were you there?" Remus asked, hoping that Sirius wouldn't get angry again.

 

"I came to tell you that I wanted to be with you."

 

"Oh. I'm sorry."

 

"It's fine. I spoke to Regulus about it. I know there was nothing going on between you. Although, out of interest, why didn't you deny it when Regulus said that you'd chosen him over me?"

 

Remus looked a little sheepish, "To be honest, I was just a little shocked and embarrassed that you'd caught me with your brother. I would've said something, but you sort of left before I could."

 

Sirius nodded, before turning to James, who swallowed nervously. "I'm sorry I blamed it all on you, it wasn't your fault. I was just angry and upset and needed a scapegoat."

 

James shook his head, "It's fine, it sorta was a little my fault anyway."

 

Sirius looked away from James, trying to find the words to phrase the one question he wanted to ask. He looked back at James and decided it would be better if he just came out with it, "How long have you loved me?"

 

Remus' eyes widened comically at the revelation.

 

"I'm not sure exactly when it started, maybe a few years ago, it was before Lily though, that I know for sure."

 

"But you love her too, right?"

 

James nodded.

 

"Why didn't you tell me? Because it isn't because of my sexuality. I know you better than that."

 

"You're my best friend, and I didn't want to ruin that friendship. Your being straight was part of it, but I was also confused about my own sexuality and I wasn't entirely sure it was love. I only really realised that it was more than just attraction when me and Lily got together."

 

"Does she know?"

 

James nodded again, "Yes, and she's fine with it. She was a little shocked at first, but she's accepted it. She knows I love her."

 

"Are you okay with me and Remus?"

 

"Yeah, I know my feelings for you will never completely go away, but I'm happy with Lily and I want you to be happy too."

 

"Thanks, Prongs, I really appreciate that."

 

There was an awkward pause when none of them really knew what to say next.

 

"Right, well," James started, "I'm assuming we're done here?" At nods from both Sirius and Remus he said, "I'm going to go find Lily then, I can tell you two are just dying to make out."

 

"James!" Remus blushed.

 

"You know it's true!" James called over his shoulder as he left the dormitory.

 

"You know he's right." Sirius smirked.

 

Remus rolled his eyes, "Just shut up and kiss me."

 

"With pleasure." Sirius closed the gap between them and kissed him lightly on the lips – a kiss which soon became more heated. It was safe to say that their second kiss was definitely better than their first.

 

* * *

The next day Sirius found himself on the Astronomy Tower with his brother again, although in higher spirits than last time.

 

"Everything worked out okay then?" Regulus asked.

 

"Yeah. Thanks for the Veritaserum."

 

Regulus coughed slightly, "Er, it wasn't actually Veritaserum."

 

"What?" Sirius said, startled, "Then what was it?"

 

"It was just water. You didn't need Veritaserum to be truthful with each other."

 

"Why, you sneaky little Slytherin!" Sirius joked, before pouncing on his brother and tickling him mercilessly.

 

"Sirius! Stop! I'm not six anymore!" Regulus panted out, trying to catch his breath.

 

"You're never too old to be tickled."

 

A cough sounded from the doorway and Sirius looked up to see an amused Remus, "Should I leave you two alone?"

 

"Remus! My saviour!" Regulus said, as he managed to escape his brother's grasp.

 

"Oh no you don't!" Sirius said, scrambling to his feet as his brother backed away from him, "I'm not finished with you!"

 

"You'll have to catch me first!" Regulus shouted as he fled down the Astronomy stairs.

 

Sirius vowed to get him back later and chose instead to greet his boyfriend with a kiss.

 

An irritated voice from behind them soon broke them apart, however, "And here I was trying to get away from all the snogging! James and Lily are practically eating each other's faces off in the Common Room, I've just seen Regulus and Snape practically molesting each other in the corridor and now you two!"

 

Sirius and Remus burst out laughing as they turned to face Peter. "So to escape all the snogging you decided to come to the Astronomy Tower, otherwise known as 'Snog Central'?" Sirius asked, amused.

Peter just started spluttering incoherently, which only caused Sirius and Remus to laugh harder. And in that moment, Sirius knew that whatever hardships they faced, they would get through it, because nothing would ever be able to come between the happiness of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.


End file.
